Jaci Velasquez Divorced

That's the headline over at Christianity Today.

All kinds of thoughts are swirling around in my head after reading this:

  • How (or will) this be different compared to when it happened to Amy Grant in 1999? A lot in society and the Christian subculture has changed since then. Will people (especially radio and retail) be more understanding?
  • Who cares? (No offense to Jaci.) I mean, she's just a singer. She's not a pastor, a theologian, the head of a denomination...but would that matter? Do any of those titles deserve different treatment in this situation?
  • How will this affect her fans, especially her young ones? Yes, she is a role model. Unfortunately, and especially in the Christian realm, somehow that means the model she is to be is perfection personified. What a bunch of bunk. Her opportunity now is to be a role model of how a follower of Jesus deals with the inevitable crap in her life.

That reminds me of something Mike Yaconelli said: "It's not about perfection; it's about our intimacy with God, or our connection, our relationship with God. Once we get through that, once we realize that we can be imperfect, flawed, broken; those kinds of things are the ingredients of spirituality."

A friend of mine told me the other day of a conversation with someone interested in attending our church. She asked what it was like. My friends replied that "we're a bunch of flawed people who want to learn more about Jesus."

Amen.

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My issue isn't with Jaci Velasquez. She is relatively young still and my prayer is that she goes through the refiner's fire with a deeper love for the God she serves and with a deeper understanding of His mercy and grace. My real problem is about your comment that the culture has changed since the days of Amy Grant. Yes that's true but God and His word hasn't changed. Yes God is a God of mercy and forgiveness. Perhaps  it's the tone of your post that bugs me.
      The divorce rate in the church is at an epidemic level. I'm sure you would agree. But it's a result of a deeper problem. So let me explain. A few years ago right around the housing crash my husband and I were celibrating our 10th wedding anniversary. I felt like our marriage was fruitless. I was suffering from a mid life crisis and I wanted out. Surely God could use me more after I were free from the drudgery of this marriage. I tried desperately to justify divorce but through every sermon, every scripture I read, every online article, but it became clear that I could not get God's blessing. I finally went to a divorce support group at a nearby church and saw the dispair and brokeness on every person's face in that room. I couldn't do that to my husband.  So I did as my pastor told the congregation to do in order to grow deeper in Him. I presented myself to God and asked Him to examine my heart. He did just that over a period of months. And here is what I learned after 6 months of restling with Him, through listening to my pastor's teaching, scripture reading, and councel from wise christians. My problem wasn't my circumstances, or my husband, our finances, or anything else. My problem was my relationship to God.  God began to deal with my sin which was first and foremost against Him. I began to confess sins I had committed many years ago that I had never really delt with.  I wept, I hated myself for losing my first love. I found grace and forgiveness. Now I was able to forgive my husband for failing me. The church has forgotten we deserve hell. And we've compartmentalized our lives so that we keep God in his place. We've got to get back to believing in hell and what great mercy God has shown each one of us. We need to pick up our cross each day and stop thinking it's all about us. We need to die to ourselves. That's in the Bible. BTW we went to christian marriage counseling. It was a waste of money. We went to a weekend christian marriage seminar. Again it was a waste of money. And We don't need no more stinking christian books. What we need is a renewed heart for God. And I could never come out on the other end without pastor who has an amazing heart for God and with fellowship with other believers.

 

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