More hot, steamy Christian sex

One of the inside jokes here at Think Christian is that one of our top-visited posts even now - month after month consistently in our top five - is from 2007. Consistently, search engines lead people to us to discover "Hot, steamy Christian sex."

One of the ironies is that I talk about sex regularly. My wife and I lead marriage enrichment seminars and weekend retreats that cover, among other forms of intimacy, Christian sexuality. (We once even gave the "sex-talk" to a crowd of couples that included my parents and parents-in-law, which was another set of ironies.)

Sex is God's idea. He invented sexuality as part of the way we're supposed to be. He created us as embodied creatures, designed to bear His image and reflect His glory in the unity of body and soul. And the Bible is full of sex, some good, some bad. The Song of Songs, as many an adolescent discovers with shock, is a celebration of sex, even hot, steamy God-honoring sex.

So I'd agree with Joe Beam, who is mentioned in our earlier steamy sex post. No one should have as great and fulfilling a sex life as married Christians.

But you won't learn that from our culture. Seldom will you see married couples developing rich intimacy emotionally, intellectually, spiritually and, especially, physically. Our culture teaches that sex is something you take, rather than something you give. And being surrounded by negative, exploitative images of sexuality, it's no surprise the church tends to remain silent or even negative on the topic. But we should change that.

Which leads me to mention a website I came across a while back. ChristianNymphos.org is a collection of married Christian women (using pseudonyms) who describe themselves as "women with excessive sexual desire for our husbands!" On their blog, they deal with questions ranging from a theology of sexuality to a list of sexual positions to surprisingly detailed sexual techniques. To be honest, the first time I read over a few of their posts I found myself literally blushing at their frankness. They state as their mission:

"We are here to say to women everywhere: Be fully released to embrace all that God wants for your marriage! Ignite that intimacy with your husband, and grow in Christ together! Witness to others about Jesus, and at the same time, let them see you as a healthy, strong, happily married woman. Be a role model to other young women who need someone to look up to and talk to. Instruct them on marriage and don’t shy away from sexual questions they have. Young women need experienced women to talk to and get sound, Christian advice from. Let us honor God by showing these women what He wants for them in marriage!”

I have not read everything they have to say, but I was impressed at their thoughtful and generally theologically grounded advice to women on some touchy subjects. (Using erotica as foreplay, for example, "is a form of pornography in my opinion and it is best be avoided.")

As you might gather, this site is not for the feint of heart or underage. They are also clear that some links they list lead to less healthy and God-honoring material. But I respect their work as a ministry to married Christians.

Comments (19)

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Am I the only one brave, or interested enough to comment?! ;)

Thanks for posting this! I too was a bit unsure at first, but honestly I think this is a great website for Christian women who could use a little help in the bedroom.
So I am a Christian single, divorced man that has no sex life. No hot, steamy Christian sex. Haven’t had for 9 years. Does it bother me? Big time. As I am sure it does many others. So when you talk about the joys of physical intimacy and spiritual intimacy, I kind of put my fingers in my ears and sing La, la, la, la. The Christian nymphomaniac site sounds...interesting...hm...Christian nymphomaniacs...oh, and thay have sexual positions and techniques! Maybe I won’t click on it. Currently I am practicing the technique of putting my fingers in my ears. So much of the church revolves around married couples, adult singles don’t exist. You would think that family life, marriage enrichment and child raising were the main topic of New Testament.
Thank you Rick! I often times feel that some Pastors forget that not every member is married or a single under the age of 18 or became saved during childhood. And that being celibate isn't a walk in the park, especially if you weren't saved all of your adult life or previously married. I assume they don't want to offend us but some consideration of our plight would be greatly appreciated. *rant over*

With that being said I am sure this website is a ministry that people can benefit or in some cases think they are experts on...lol
rick,

though i am married and have a wonderful family life, i can somehow sympathize with you. and at the same time cannot imagine what you have to put up with all this sex talk. i will continue to pray for you for this...should i say obssession with "christian" sex...is clearly not edifying all of the body of Christ. pls do not take as having any condescension on my part but speaking as a sincere brother in the Lord. i hope that your walk with the Lord will be full of joy!

have a blessed day!

alvin

I do understand Rick's comments. My church is about 50 percent unmarried (adults). And we are going through a four week series on how to stay in love (in marriage). But I will agree with the part that says that if we know about something going in, it can help. My pastor is spending a good bit of the time directly addressing singles (albeit with the assumption that most of them are going to get married).

I can't comment on the website without admitting that I visited and/or hoping that my wife might visit too.
Good points.

Also, I think this site risks playing into our culture's idea of talking about sex as a set of techniques, evaluating intimacy primarily/exclusively according to physical pleasure, and even enforcing the idea that the woman exists to please the man. And I'm not sure the word 'nympho' can be redeemed for Christian use.

But I do like the idea of challenging the idea that only males care about pleasure, that married sex is necessarily dull routine, and that talking about sex as Christians is taboo.
speaking of redeeming the word nympho... type nympho or nymphos into google.. see how close the CN site is to the top. I've seen it as high as #1. If that's not redeeming the word, what is? I think those ladies are doing an incredible job, and I'm sure a lot of people wish their wives were "christian nymphos"
Here is the definition of nymphomaniac or nympho:
nymphomania - a disorder in woman characterized by an overactive libido, extreme or obsessive uncontrollable desire for sexual stimulation.

Coco says "I'm sure a lot of people wish their wives were christian nymphos". We are talking about men (not people) here fantasizing that their wives have obsessive, uncontrollable sexual cravings. Sounds like a Playboy fantasy to me. It reminds me of when I was in Junior High and someone told me about spanish fly (an illegal aphrodisiac) and it's magical powers. These are adolescent male fantasies at best and dehumanizing, de personalizing, destructive perceptions at worst.

I always feel a little creepy when some sexually fixated male minister waxes eloquent about "Maximum Sex" or "Hot Steamy Sex" or the "Sex 365 Days Of The Year Challenge" or whatever the latest hyperbolic Christian term is. And I think unbelievers feel weird about it too.

I agree with Nathan Bierma's points..


if you read the site you'll see that they are only nymphos when compared to the popular idea of what Christian sexuality is. I do consider their husbands to be very lucky... Let's see... what would be better in marriage? A wife that thinks sex is dirty and sinful, or a wife that knows that sex is a gift from God, meatn to be enjoyed to it's fullest? I say if there were more wives out there like the CN spice girls, there would be a lot more happy marriages out there, and lot fewer divorces.

God Bless them, they read the bible, and enlighten the uninformed.

As a male minister who talks about sex (fixated or not), I do prefer to teach along side my wife--we lecture as a couple. And we do so for the very reasons you suggest. Sometimes my voice is less effective than hers, and our voices together are clearest.

And I certainly don't mean to primarily lecture women how to be sexier. In my ministry men need the most re-orientation. And notably, the CN site is written by women for women. Men are welcome only as guests who behave themselves.

And since these women chose Nympho as a proud self-description, as a male I'd hesitate to lecture them on how to describe their sexuality, according to Webster or not.

 

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