February 14, 2012
I didn't want your post to go without comment.
Loneliness is powerful, and what you write describes what so many people (in all walks of life) feel.
Your sorrow makes sense, and your recognition of grace offers hope.
While silence in response to such an authentic post can seem like indifference. I think, in this case it represents respect and a desire not to condescend, placate, or offer platitudes.
I hope with you. Your words will make me more conscious of the feelings of my single friends.
Thank you for speaking out. I'm sure more people have been touched by your post than the comments reflect.
I'm in my late 40s and never been married. I know the loneliness and the unfilled longings. I've had my own disability, which isn't visible.
There are moments at my most confidant that being thrust into a group where everyone else is attached pierces me and emotions erupt. I feel that quiet despair at being the one "without", who doesn't fit in with the conversations. I wonder why do I even have sexual desires if they have no purpose in God's plan for me? Wouldn't they be better with someone who wants kids (I never wanted them). No, marriage isn't just about sex, but that's a big part. And kids are certainly not a requirement of marriage.
I'm just beginning to feel like the desires for a spouse, sex, someone to share life....are wasted on me.
So, I feel for you.
You may find some comfort in the writings on singleness at www.streamsinthewilderness.com. They have encouraged me. Not fluff, but an honest look at singleness.
Your thinking is right on as you evaluate yourself. No matter our condition, we wonder what if.... Just as you wonder about being single, there are many married people that wonder if they should have married at all! Just keep working on being the person God wants you to be, as you have been. Answers and peace will come.
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